Herald in Battle.

Yesterday, I learned I hate to attack another, even in play.

I made an appointment with an expeerienced battler to learn the basics of mock battle in Second Life. After some delay, we are gathered, and equipped. When our sensei, Sjeyanne, asks us to spar, I cannot speak. I dread to say "Rahan, engarde", nor, even worse, "Aria, I am ready to fight you." I am relieved when SJ offers to spar with me, but even her, a stranger who knows there is no anger, only the desire for a skill that she uses everyday, she says "ready", I am looking at her, and I want to throw down my weapon and leave - I have no wish to hit her. But I take up my sword and tell her "Ready", but in truth, mon ami, I am never ready.

My son is an expert battler on computer games. He loves them. I was never a challenge for him, even from age 10. He is a RL expert, regularly placing well in computer fighting tournaments. Here I face another true expert, and am cut to the ground in mere seconds. Then I am caged - of all things that I hate, I hate nothing more than cages. Not for me, not for any one. I apply the /1 reset remedy, and, oh no, my HUD settings are destroyed! This is true injury to me - I will need to take time fix this sometime.

But I continue with the horrible lesson. She compliments me on my weak hits, like a good teacher. I cannot even see her move, she is so fast: her experience is great, she handles her mouse and interface expertly, in battle after battle trying to teach me. I cannot see myself, I cannot see her, I press buttons randomly. Phuii. This is frustratng and terrible. I have no improvement,and no idea what to do.

I whine, like an ungrateful child. I tell her I cannot see, I cannot tell wheat is happening, "I hate this" to her. Rahan and Aria are in the distance, merrily bashing one another. SJ is understanding and helpful, even showing me new ways so I can see Arth and her. You see part of this instruction - you make the world dull and flat, with no sky - then, ironically, you are fast enough maybe to fight. I am still 3 times slower than her. I improve a little, still losing every spar and falling to my face in the hated cage. I sudeenly realize I must immediately go.

On my return, we are in another place, a new area with more people. I have one small success: with the new system, I learn an interface trick that even my sensei does not know in mere seconds.I pray, please God, I don't want to fight, but I am committed to learn, for so many I truly respect admire this part of SL. And my prayer is granted:

Idiot Anthony appears, gun in hand, firing, and my practice is disrupted.

You handled him expertly: communicative, with exact truth. Arian acts on instinct and shoots him, creating some escalation. Most others have no idea what to do. I quietly IM him to teach him to see truth for himself on who has harmed him. He says Arian hit him. I tell him I will talk to her. He leaves, apparently satisfied. I IM Arianwen that Anthony might file abuse on her, but I don't think he is smart enough.

Then, I don't recall whether this is before you leave or after - he comes back with another to shoot us all, completely disrupting our sparring again. I am SHOUTING at him in IM and threaten to BAN him from SL. But he hits Arian hard. He leaves and says he nor his friend will not return.

Anthony is a liar. Moments later, I am covered in a 10x10x10 box on the sparring floor. The boxes say he made them and owns them - I learn this by left click - edit. I look at my bumps and hits - it is empty: the boxes are not physical, merely annoying. I can file abuse for this by right click - more - more - report abuse, but I do not. I shouild have. My HUD tells me he is nearby, so I find him (using a programmed particle that, untill today, I only used to find my best friends) standing on a neaby hill, Once again, he lies and says it not his boxes. The boxes are gone now. I see his profile - he is player since October 06. "Anthony, you have been here too long to be such a n00b." He says he doesn't come in much. "Good thing", I say. He claims he is invisible and doesn't know what is happening - (is he lying? did someone "orbit" him?). I tell him to log off as his remedy.

One moment later, there is a huge ocean liner on the tournament floor. I have no doubt. Right click object, -more-more-report. Yes, it is Anthony. Send a photo. Copy paste chat to report window: multiple object grief. 10 seconds, report is done. Anthony will get a warning from SL. If he already has warning, he will get suspended or banned. SL is reliable in this.

His profile indicates I can eject him and the liner from the area. I do. The SIM reports I have no permissions, yet he and the liner and gone in seconds. A moment later, he is back with another large weapon. With no hesitation and with no feeling of anger or joy, I trap him and eject him again. He is not even pretending to be making errors now, simply taunting me. I am "grass" he says (I have no idea what this means) and he continures to call me grass. His profile now has one word in it, the very word I wear constantly: Ask.

An expert griefer is baiting me. Who knows why? A million reasons could exist, and there is not point in my guessing: he is the one who needs to find why to truly handle things. I simply need to be effective in removing this annyoance, like swatting a bug. Further eject will not deal with him. Reports will, surely, but most important, remove his target: me.

Of course Anthony returns. I freeze him again. I politely ask those remaing in the arena (none of them are the people I came with - they have all left already) to file Abuse reports on Anthony at the slightes provocation, and tell them how to do it: either from your menu > Help > bumps screen if you have been fired upon, or from object > right-click > more > more > report if there is a large object in the way. Anthony is chattering inanely in IM - I am grass, he could report me, but he is not grass. I tell him I have lost my patience with him, and that is very hard to do to me. "I am done with you, Anthony."

I leave the sim. I have left him behind me. I have also left behind an illusion, thank God: whether I am sucessful (as trapping and neutralizing Anthony after failed diplomacy) or unsuccessful (as using swords in SL) no battle is attractive to me.

I will still learn weapon battle, it is an important part of roles I must play. God help me.

Love, Arth.